Working through unpredictable night and day shifts had driven Ramya, to the edge and somehow a sense of dissatisfaction had crept in slowly. Despite having a caring husband like Vivek, and the world at her feet, she was deeply unhappy about the sudden flare-ups of arguments that used to crop up most unexpectedly. Newly born Shreya, a mute spectator to their constant skirmishes, was the only child whom Ramya had identified her world with, at that point in time. Tired of yelling matches, Ramya would focus on chores, and a bit on her painting sessions at the end of the day that helped her unwind. Working for an MNC had given her some career satisfaction which she had craved for, in compensation to what life offered her with regards to her otherwise trouble-ridden life. Left with not much time for husband and the kid, she felt pained and somehow managed to spend a small slot of her time with Shreya. Employing a nanny for childcare seemed to ease their tensions apparently.
After a few months, things began to look on the professional front for both Vivek and Ramya, in their own ways. Promotion to a higher rank in the company seemed to quell most of her financial gloom. However, it had to have a downside as well. Her present schedule was so erratic that nothing in her life was predictable. With delayed lunch hours, and even more infrequent evening strolls with her child in the nearby park, her personal life had fallen into a rut.
Shreya was unusually clingy and fretful these days, per nanny’s report. Even simple household chores in the evening seemed tedious, as Shreya literally glued herself to her mom. Even those fancy toys neatly arranged next to her crib ceased to lure. Teary-eyed at the smallest pretext, she would scream until she got hoarse and choked in the throat. Gradually, these unexplained crying spells became frequent and prolonged every time. Baffled at these unforeseen changes which brought her to her wit's end, Ramya realized that it was time for some introspection, She realized that Shreya did not have a rightful slot in her tight schedule all along. Browsing seriously for some parenting inputs, she found information that finally alleviated her distress. Spending maximum time with Shreya became a priority and consequently, Shreya was much overwhelmed by this sudden burst of motherly love and care. Eventually, her milestones seemed to improve with time. She also started playing with her toys more frequently, happy with the realization that her mom was there for her.
Playing songs for her child on her laptop, telling stories in the spare time, trying out new toddler recipes gathered from websites, were not only the first few ideas Ramya came up with, but other lessons which she learnt from her own experience, soon saw her through this difficult phase which finally helped her put the jigsaw puzzle of her life into place. Ramya spoke more with her child, narrated stories animatedly and also helped her speak her first few words. Watching the tom and Jerry cartoons with her baby, the occasional squeal and laughter that rent the air, the comforting hug, the smiling cherubic face, the night time lullaby that felt peaceful than ever, filled with a new meaning, as it were, to her otherwise, vacuum invaded, mechanical lifestyle.
Shreya did put on a little weight, looked chubbier with hints of rose and peach on her cheeks. This was a phase wherein she could connect to and understand the world only through her senses. Lack of human interaction, especially maternal absence had arrested the brain development in the child. This gap was bridged effectively by her mother who had woken to the realization quite late, but better than never. Ramya surely felt better with the quality and therapeutic time she spent with her baby. Shreya’s childhood, that was rightfully hers, was revived. In the meanwhile, Ramya and Vivek lessened their arguments, enrolled for a couple of meditation/yoga sessions, and learned to spend their evening in the cozy comfort of their home. Shreya was finally reunited with her mother in heart mind and soul. These naturally affectionate parental responses go a long way in establishing the right rapport with the child.
Nature truly teaches parents how to be parents. A woman naturally turns into a parent, learns her lessons instinctively when she steps into motherhood from her juvenile world. It is the lesson that nature teaches even animals, to protect and defend the kids the way they should. The modern lifestyle has affected this natural rhythm in such a bad way, that parents feel no longer human and strict schedules at work leave no time for motherhood. Life is lost somewhere. Although delayed motherhood is a common phenomenon these days with women becoming mothers as late as their thirties, they still need to reconnect themselves back to life, go with the flow of nature and acquire back the peaceful rhythm. Mother of all problems is that there is a certain element of peace and contentment we all crave for. Longsuffering grannies and grandpas in aged homes, children languishing for mothers in day-care, and the working mothers missing their babies while at work, all have one thing in common, that we, as collective humanity, need reassurance and peace. Lucky ones amongst us do get that in plenty from our mothers, grannies, and others, while the rest of us live our lives, languishing due to the absence of it. A sort of an emotional abuse, or whatever you could call, is the hallmark sign of a toxic relationship, especially between a mother and child. Children grow up to be secure and emotionally stable in a loving atmosphere that caters to their growing needs.
I have been an incorrigible muse and musings and music have governed my life. I believe in responding well and fully to life, as it comes. I am essentially a homemaker (and a poet with two published anthologies ) who has been trying to strike a balance between the world outside as well as the world within; I call myself a lonely soldier on an endless journey of life. I am a full-time mom, and an editor and a musician whenever time permits. I have some hard-headed views on parenting which I would like to share with readers here on, ParentPuddle.