Ever thought of calling the nearest police station when you are stuck with your toddler, with tufts of your hair falling from his hands, eyes scratched, arms bruised, and a flood of tears streaming down your eyes? Do time-tested doses of patience, listening and kindness seem like ominous options to even try out? Stop there.
When even pranayama does not do much to help you recover from the toddler effect, when racing emotions and heartbeats get the better of you, think of some viable options and remedies that your mom came up with during early stages of your motherhood. Do you actually need a time out now? Let us be honest. Yes. You deserve to cool down with a helpful time out.
Every child needs to let out his frustrations in a normal way and parents need to accept it with a smile. After all, it is a passing phase that every toddler goes through. Remember how many times, you had advised your neighbor with that screaming kid, for long hours through several sessions and made her realize that patience is a virtue. Well, it is your turn now to remember them, apply those tactics and move on with your parenting struggle.
Pranayama has been the king of remedies for plentiful reasons, including anger, depression, and host of other complaints. It helps here as well. It is not only for resilient and never-give-up types, it works well for you and I as well, provided we practice it consistently.
For the likes of you who particularly do not nurture a soft spot for this activity, the next best thing to do is to just teach yourself to remove yourself physically from the situation while ensuring safety for your child when you are away.
It also pays to be well equipped, before your child gets into that foul mood, to handle him at an acceptable level. Every mother has her own style and ways to do that. Remember how even today, you successfully corner your faithful hubby when things do not go as you plan? Similarly, your child is experiencing his first flood of emotions which he is unable to handle. He is just a helpless kid who isn’t trying to outwit you in your game. Also, don’t be intimidated by the onlookers around you who would either express their resentment or irritate you further with their well-meaning advice.
If nothing is possible at that moment, you can just try to relax on your couch for a fresh burst of ideas and tactics that you can discover. Physical rest does a lot of good for your frazzled nerves too. It may give you that answer you were hunting for, to tame your child and within no time, your child might come back to you wondering what happened all of a sudden and why mommy gave up midway. You can also think of some pleasant distractions, although it may seem impossible then, which help you focus on what is needed for the long run.
Having to deal with a tantrum loving kid on a continual basis, may be very stressful for a first-time mother. So it pays to be wise and firstly gain an emotional stronghold over the situation. As a mother, you need to be strong for yourself, with emotions in check, at least most of the times and remove the element of stress that cripples you at the most decisive moments with your kid. Maybe about of exercise, disciplined schedule, a stint of mindfulness exercise, coupled with relaxing hobbies like painting, music would soothe you at least for this time and give you the much-needed courage to push through.
Socialize a bit, attend family gatherings, chit-chat with a close friend, and stay in your best form to be able to tackle your cherubic menace. This will only help you stay strong and not get bogged down in feelings of self-pity, and the mind-boggling “why me” questions. This lets you not to overreact, as a result of stress and to face your toddler with the right amount of caution and care. This may appear to be a selfish idea at first, but if you are not mentally fit, in best form, and equipped to handle, you have lost half of the battle.
Finally when nothing works, and you feel that you are all alone and helpless, call a friend or a relative who lives nearby, and avail help, for that moment, while you have enough time to brace yourself for the upcoming skirmishes.
You can also choose to talk, to vent your frustrating experiences with a friend or your mother and let them just lend you their patient and willing ears because that is what is needed at these times. The silence of people around you, during venting, can particularly alleviate your mood for the better. Long-time battling, for the novice first-time mothers, can lead to some sort of an emotional disconnection between them and their kids. Never disconnect yourself this way with your child, instead, put yourself together and bounce back every time you experience a meltdown. Remember the struggle your parents had to go through when you were a toddler in their arms, screaming to be fed, to be clothed, to be carried for endless hours. Your mother’s grit and an infinite reservoir of patience made you what you are today, a mother and an ever-evolving adult. You need not feel that you are short on mothering instincts or lacking the expertise of handling a kid with care. Everyone one of us learns by trial and error and so do you. Mothering is just not an instinct, it is an art that needs to be learned in order to do the best for your kid, and to let him grow as a responsible and acceptable part of society.
I have been an incorrigible muse and musings and music have governed my life. I believe in responding well and fully to life, as it comes. I am essentially a homemaker (and a poet with two published anthologies ) who has been trying to strike a balance between the world outside as well as the world within; I call myself a lonely soldier on an endless journey of life. I am a full-time mom, and an editor and a musician whenever time permits. I have some hard-headed views on parenting which I would like to share with readers here on, ParentPuddle.